The Legion of Loyal Lizards

DID I BUY A CAR????

GENTLEMAN.  I WISH  TO EXPLAIN THE TREATMENT I RECEIVED WHEN I VISITED GOODY MOTORS EARLIER THIS MONTH TO INQUIRE ABOUT A USED CAR.

THE FIRST MAN I TALKED TO SWITCHED ME TO ANOTHER SALESMAN BECAUSE I WAS A BE-BACK AND HE WASN'T GOING TO HANDLE A SPLIT. THIS SALESMAN TRIED TO SELL ME A 90 DAY OUT OF STATER WITH CANCER. IT WAS A SIX BANGER WITH THREE ON THE TREE, RED GUTS, MUSIC AND HEAT THAT NEEDED SKINS AND AN EARL SCHEIB.

WHEN I PASSED, HE SHOWED ME A CHERRY EQUIPPED WITH A GRINDER, AIR RIDE, WINDOWS, SEATS, AND AIR THAT BLEW COLD WITHOUT A HELPER. HE STATED THAT I COULD BUY IT FOR TWO BACK A BOOK, BUT WOULD HAVE TO DEAL TODAY FOR IT WAS ON SPECIAL. HE TOLD ME HE WAS ON MY SIDE AS HE NEEDED THIS ONE TO MAKE BONUS.

AFTER WE WROTE IT UP, HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH AND SAID WE HAD TO KNOCK THE TRADE A HUN BECAUSE THE BOSS SAID IT WAS A ROACH  THAT  HAD TO BE DUMPED ON THE IRON LOT OR ROLLED AROUND BY A TWO  BITTER TO BAIL OUT OF IT. HE EXPLAINED I WAS BURIED A LOAD IN MY TOAD. BUT HE WOULD TRY TO MOUSE ME FOR A DOWN STROKE IF I WOULD HOCK MY  STOCKS AND COME UP WITH A CO-PILOT.          WHEN I AGREED, THE FIANCE MAN CAME IN AND CALLED THE  BANKER TO  SEE IF THEY WOULD CARRY THE BACK-END. HE EXPLAINED THAT I WASN'T  GOLD PLATED,  HAD BEEN A FLOATER,  LOOK LIKE A SKIP AND SO ON. WHEN  I  DIDN'T SMILE DURING THIS CONVERSATION  HE SUGGESTED TO THE SALESMAN THAT I MUST BE A SQUIRREL BECAUSE I DIDN'T ACT LIKE THE USUAL  GRAPES,  MULLETS AND  LAY-DOWNS.  THE      T.O. MAN WAS OUT FOR NOONER , SO I WAS  TURNED TO THE  INSURANCE MAN WHO TRIED TO BUST ME FOR A   A AND  H  ,LIFE,  HIGH JACK  SNAKE OIL, AND WHEN I DIDN'T BUY THE WHOLE  OF WAX  I WAS  A PIPE SMOKING SLIDE RULER.    THE SALESMAN FINALLY SHOWED UP  WITH THE  FOUR SQUARE  CURBED  MY  SLED  EXPLAINED THE PICKS  AND THE DOWN STROKE  PAPERED THE CAR AND ROLLED ME   MY QUESTION  IS;  DID  I  BUY  THE  CAR ?